9 thoughts on “True-life Oscar Bait”

  1. Will a crippled imagination do? I’m just watching ‘Catwoman’ right now. Good god, it’s beyond horrible. Far worse than I believed possible.

  2. I believe Freddie Prinze Jr. will be playing a developmentally disabled triple amputee, who nevertheless overcomes his disabilities to become England’s greatest soccer star and gain the love of Michelle Rodriquez. I think the tentative title is “Torso Plenty” and is coming out in November, during the time when studios release their “oscar contenders.” if you ask me–and you didn’t–this movie has Oscar written all over it and will provide a rousing endorsement of the human spirit triumphing over adversity. I heard that Prinze, Jr., actually had both his legs and one arm cut off in order to “get into the role.” His legs and arm will be starring in the teen farce “Jim Shorts.” Oscar buzz says that Prinze’s limbs may be competing against the rest of him in the Best Actor category. Wow!

  3. Dear Purported Humorist,

    As an old timer, I expect to see this kind of poor comic effort exercised by those who refuse to pay their dues, as we used to during what is rightly called the Golden Age of Comedy. I wrote jokes for the Ritz Brothers in my own blood for five years before I was allowed a pen. Now every jokey john and jane gets a show on Comedy Central or a midseason replacement. Your bit demonstrates the fatal flaw of a poor premise. Everyone knows that no actor from a teen farce has ever been nominated for Best Actor, with, of course, the notable and unique exception of Montgomery Clift in 1952 for “Young Virgin Tries to Get Pussy in Mexico,” MGM’s prestige picture for that year.

    If one cannot establish a believable premise for a joke, one might as well be writing for the backs of cereal boxes. Of course, I fully expect my remarks to go unheeded–after all I am merely a “geezer” who, despite having written every breast joke for the Dean Martin Show and authoring the ever-young dinner theater farce “Kiss Me in the Pants,” can offer nothing to the young lions who expect to do a few jokes about their therapy at Sammy’s Laugh Shack and then immediately get a 20 million dollar movie contract. But I steadfastly maintain the belief that crafstmanship is at the heart of a good joke and that today’s new breed of so-called comedy writers, like the above “humorist,” aren’t fit to lick the boots of a Lenny Scheinman or a even a “lady writer” (forgive my political incorrectness,you comedy libbers!) like Gertrude Schpritz. Ah, Feh! This kind of aggravation, I don’t need.

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