Jackie Chan!

Fuck Brett Ratner. Chan’s return to Hong Kong for an old-school silly/pathos-drenched/action-thriller Robin B Hood is ridiculous and reasonably good fun. But I recommend it for its pedagogical import: this story of two burglars who end up caring for a baby they’ve kidnapped is really just like parenting. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve thrown a shit-filled diaper at Kris, and it’s splattered the wall and her to hilarious effect. Or accidentally tied the baby carriage to an armored truck, and then had to commandeer vehicles in a mad chase to rescue the happily-cooing Max. I was so glad to see a movie finally, finally get it right.

Seriously, if you like Jackie Chan, you’ll like this. A few great gags, in the stuntman sense–e.g., hopping from air conditioner to air conditioner down the side of a building. A lot of inane but harmlessly pleasant gags–e.g., diapers, a strange Brokeback Mountain joke, etc.

Oh, I’m thinking of opening a blog for discerning, film-loving parents. Besides these rare instances of films which accurately represent, I’ll be doing some serious kids’-film criticism. My first post will explore the numerous continuity errors I found in Scooby Doo on Zombie Island. Shameful.